you're welcome

"The decision on this issue is considered a total grant of the benefit sought on appeal. As such, your pending appeal is now resolved."

If those aren't the sweetest words in the English language, they are second only to my husband saying, "You did it. It is because of you we have this money."

I know I did it. I'm the one who sent the VA memory journals of everything my, then 28 year old, husband forgot for a month. I'm the one who wrote out the reasons for our appeal and then asked Karl to sign it. I'm the one who dragged him to meet with Texas Veteran Commission representatives and harassed him into calling to check on the status of our appeal. I'm the one who kept track of every appeal deadline.

"The decision on this issue is considered a total grant of the benefit sought on appeal. As such, your pending appeal is now resolved."

I was once told by a mean girl that I was doing it wrong. According to her, it is people like me that drive up the VA backlog. According to her, we were never going to get the ratings we sought because my husband's TBI and PTSD ratings were combined. I have been told by nice girls that I should just accept the rating and file later, for an increase. I have even been told by someone who works for the amazing Wounded Warrior Project that I was doing it wrong. He worked on claims for a living and he didn't believe my appeal would ever be granted. I would have better luck, he said, if I accepted that we would never see retro pay. I would be better off waiting and filing for an increase later.

If I was a better person, I wouldn't feel quite so smug, but I do. I feel smug and righteous.

"The decision on this issue is considered a total grant of the benefit sought on appeal. As such, your pending appeal is now resolved."

There is no one right way. I know this. We all have to fight our own battles in our own way. My way worked. My husband was finally, five years after he filed his first claim with the VA, deemed totally and permanently disabled.

My pending appeal is resolved.

I am done.

We have a life-changing amount of money. We have moved into a different income bracket. We will never be on food stamps again. Our children qualify for VA insurance. I am calling on Monday to switch my children to ChampVA instead of Medicaid. I am so tired of the looks we get for having Medicaid. No more. Our children will get a stipend for college. Hell, I'll get a stipend for college! On Monday I'll be calling colleges for myself because some colleges waive all tuition and fees for spouses of permanently and totally disabled veterans. I cannot wait to go back to college, probably next fall.

Our lives have changed. I have been climbing and climbing and I have reached the summit. I can relax now. I am done. I am relieved. I have been heard and Karl has been acknowledged.

More importantly, Karl is acknowledging me. My husband, for whom words are so difficult, has thanked me repeatedly in the past 48 hours for fighting for him and for us.

I am so thankful to have finally been victorious so I can say, "you're welcome."