Thursday, December 12, 2013

falling and winning

Sometimes when you are pushing and pushing against a barricade, it disappears. Then you fall because all of your momentum is propelling you forward.

Tonight I checked our bank account to see if Karl's Christmas presents had been debited from our account yet. Our balance was way too high. Our balance was absurdly high. I scrolled down to verify that what I was seeing was our balance. It was.

This morning we received an absurdly high retro payment from the VA. We received three years worth of a higher payment.

I am sitting on the ground, bewildered at my fall, looking back were the obstacle was.

I am regrouping.

Is it enough that Karl be labeled unemployable? Or do his ratings need to accurately reflect his impairments?

If I decide to stop fighting..... can I? I want to. I want to say, "this is enough," and stop fighting the VA. I want to relax into financial security and let the VA label him however they want... but that isn't what I have been fighting for, nor is it fair. I have been fighting for Karl to receive adequate compensation from the VA, but more importantly, accurate recognition.

Karl went to buy me a bottle of champagne. My fight is not over but it looks like we will win... expect, you know, even winning and getting the recognition Karl deserves from the VA will never ever restore him to who he was. We won't ever really win.

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