Sunday was the six year anniversary of the day my husband and I got married in Starbucks. People laugh when I tell them I got married at Starbucks and I have to stop them to tell them the funny part, which is not that we got married at Starbucks but that we were the second couple that week to get married at that Starbucks.
It is very common in the military to get married without a wedding. There are many benefits to being married in the military, such as higher pay. Once a service member decides to get married, it makes practical sense to do it as soon as possible. I agreed with this, but I didn't want to miss out on a wedding. I knew how easy it was to put off the planning until your ten year anniversary was looming with no wedding in sight. I wanted a dress and I wanted everyone to look at me and talk about how pretty I was. So I told Karl that I would not marry him unless it was less than three months before a wedding we were actively planning. So, by the time we got married at Starbucks, our Save the Date cards had gone out and I was addressing our invitations. Our cake had been ordered and I had bought the first two of my four wedding dresses.
My first wedding dress was a $30 tea length dress from Ross. It was white with lace around the mid-section. It was perfect for the summer wedding I thought we would be having. Then Karl's tour got extended three more months and my wedding became a winter wedding. So I bought another dress. It was $12 on clearance at J.C. Penney. It was floor length and ivory, with a black twist of ribbon.
The day Karl and I got married at Starbucks, I wore a black t-shirt, jeans and a wide black and white striped headband. Karl and I ordered coffee and breakfast sandwiches and bought our minister's coffee. Then we sat at the back table. He asked us if we were related (no) and if we wanted to be married (yes) and we signed our marriage certificate. I took a selfie with my cell phone of us kissing. We joked about how I had trapped him or he had trapped me, saying things like "got ya now!" Our minister didn't seem very amused..
After we finished our coffee, we went home to take a nap. We had been up late the night before at a bar with the guys who had come home on the last flight. In the privacy of our room, we exchanged vows with each other, silly things like Karl promising to do the dishes (which he does, because he promised - I have done the dishes maybe 12 times in the past six years) and us both promising to love each other. That afternoon we went to the fair.
By the time our wedding date arrived, I was pregnant with our daughter. It shouldn't have been a surprise - we were trying, but I started gaining weight immediately and a week before our wedding, I realized my dress didn't fit. I was only about 6 weeks along. I started shopping for another dress and bought one for $100. It was pretty. I wasn't in love with it but I was overwrought and feeling desperate. A few days before our wedding my mom and I went to Goodwill and I saw a gorgeous Alfred Angelo halter dress with intricate beading and a train. It was $85 and my mom encouraged me to try it on. When I did, her eyes filled with tears. I, of course, bought it and wore it. I spent less than $250 on my four wedding dresses combined.
Our ceremony is on a VHS tape. It lasted less than eight minutes and ended with me leaving my husband at the altar to head for the food, which is sort of embarrassing. Luckily, he was already stuck with me. It was a small, casual wedding at my mom's house. People stood for our ceremony. Our food came from Costco, as did our flowers. I forgot our sparkling cider until after everyone had left so we had no toasts. We had no dance. We just hung out and I wore my wedding dress all day. Some of my favorite photos of the day are of me giving my dog (who has since died) her medicine in all my bridal glory and my eldest asleep in my arms as I sit on the floor in my gorgeous gown. We have official wedding photos too, of Karl and I gazing adoringly at each other and kissing.
One of my favorite photos of Karl and I at our wedding shows me rolling my eyes at him with my hand to my forehead in exasperation. I have an almost identical photo we took in a photo booth the day we were married. I am glad we had a wedding. It was fun. I am also glad we got married at Starbucks first. I get two very distinct anniversaries. Every September we go to Starbucks and tell the bored, unimpressed baristas that we got married there. They have never, to my amusement, given us a free coffee. Every December we go on a real date for our wedding anniversary and sometimes give each other gifts. Our marriage and our wedding represent the best of Karl and I: our ease with each other and our ability to laugh at ourselves.
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