Newsflash

My husband is happy, actually happy. I cannot remember the last time I saw him happy. He fears he will be miserable for the rest of his life. He also fears the rest of his life will not be very long. I feel like part of my job, as his wife and official caretaker, is to make whatever life he does have left as good as possible.

To that end, we've decided to move to Washington state... and my husband is happy.

My best friend is not happy. My mother is unhappy. My kids have mixed feelings. But my husband is happy.

It's such a remarkable thing to see him happy about something. My husband is not generally mean or angry like some of the veterans I've met. He just doesn't care about anything. There is an underlying anger in him, but it is covered with layers upon layers of apathy. He has been this way since his second tour. There are moments that have made him happy, of course, like the birth of our daughter. I had planned on listing more examples but I couldn't come up with any. I'm sure there are vacations or movies or dates that have made him happy, but nothing has brought real joy to his life in years.

I know he is scared he will be unhappy in Washington too, but I think our list of reasons is compelling enough that even if he is unhappy there, our quality of life will improve. His physical health will improve because he'll be able to breathe - there are virtually no allergens in the Seattle area. His joint pain should ease some too because the weather changes aren't so drastic there. His emotional health will improve because he will be near the base where he served and men he served with. He will, for the first time since we moved to Texas four years ago, have friends.

After considering what this would mean for Karl, we started considering what it would mean for the rest of our family. Washington has better schools than Texas and the social/political climate is much more in line with my personal values. It is a better place to raise our kids, I think. There are also really good opportunities for gifted kids in the Seattle area. In addition, my daughter has the same allergies my husband does and we take her to the ER about twice a year for respiratory events. Moving to Washington will probably put an end to those biannual ER visits.

My eldest, 7, is excited to move and wants to move sooner than this coming summer. My daughter, 4, doesn't want to leave her preschool, but she has to leave preschool this May anyway.

So it seems like the perfect time. Now I have to figure out how to do it....

I have been asked a few times what I am getting out of this move, especially as I have only one or two friends left in the area. I have been asked why I'm leaving my support system. My hope is that if my husband is happier and healthier, my need for support will be lessened. My hope is that my family will be happier and healthier and then I will be happier and healthier.