Wives

When we talk about being married to our husbands, other women admire us... or rather, they say they do.

"You're so strong," they almost whine, picturing their lives and their petty selfishness.

"You're so selfless. I don't know how you do it. I could never," they continue, trying to imagine what our lives must be like.

Our lives are like everyone else's. We sleep. We eat. We laugh. We cry. We work. We love.

Oh, how we love!

"We could, any one of us leave," I say, trying to make a point, "We are not trapped."

"But then who would take care of him?" One of the other wives, who is in a tough place, asks.

No one. No one would take care of him. This might be why many of us stay when we are not sure if we should. There are some who leave. Things have gotten to be too much or there is abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, verbal abuse, and women who desperately love their veteran decide they love themselves or their children more and they leave.

And they feel they have failed.

We want so desperately to heal what is unhealable.

We could leave, but we stay. We do not stay because we are noble or heroic or selfless. We are as selfish and petty as the women who cannot fathom our lives.

We stay because if we don't, no one will take care of the love of our life. We respect and love these men and we believe someone should sacrifice to take care of them. How can you ask someone else to do what you are unwilling to do?