I just learned about 1-877-VET-2-VET, a Veteran's crisis hotline where returning soldiers and veterans can call and speak directly to another VETERAN.
In the first 131 days of this year, 115 veterans committed suicide. That's almost a veteran a day committing suicide. It is all well and goode to support our troops, but what about our veterans?
It is common knowledge that if a Vietnam veteran is blustering on about Vietnam, they weren't there. They didn't see anything. If you were there, up to your eyeballs in feces, you do not talk about it.
Afghanistan and Iraq veterans seem to follow in their footsteps. I am married to a veteran and I know less than 10 war stories and all of those are humorous anecdotes or obvious explanations, like why someone is missing a leg or why someone got a silver star. The rest... who knows?
It is noble for an idealistic 18 year old to volunteer to serve his country. It is horrifying for that 18 year old boy to go straight from boot camp to a war zone. It is worse for him to be criticized for what he may or may not done while trying to protect himself and his friends, his brothers. It is worse for him to come home and no one to care that he will never ever be the same. He will NEVER recognize the potential he had before he volunteered to do something noble.
He will never be the same and, most likely, he will not be able to talk about it. Not only is mental illness still a taboo subject for a lot of people, but also, how is a 19 year old, who had a birthday in a war zone - he may or may not have received a package, he may or may not have been shot at - supposed to explain that he is not mentally ill, he just acts like it? He is conditioned. He checks his doors and jumps at loud noises and needs his gun on him constantly because that is what he is supposed to do. That is who he is. It is normal, to him, for him.
There is an email forward that periodically goes around, explaining that our returning soldiers find it hard to be sympathetic towards our day to day woes - potholes, commutes, annoying work places - because of what they have been through. This is true. It does not explain though that some soldiers who have been through war find it hard to care about anything at all, because none of what is going on at home can remotely compare to what they've been through.
Maybe what we need to ask ourselves is not how to make these soldiers fit back into our society but how our society can create a safe space to fit these veterans.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thanks Depleted Uranium!
I was reading Army of Dude yesterday. This is a blog by a dude with whom my husband served. If you want an idea of everything you have no idea about regarding the war and today's veterans, its a great read.
In 365: A Guide to Coming Back, he talks about the sheer apathy a lot of Americans have regarding the war. I am one of these people: apathetic. Not just regarding the war, but in general I feel fairly apathetic about what goes on that is not physically in my face, especially if it is BIG NEWS, like the oil spoil, or the war. I don't watch or read the news. This should probably surprise me, because my major in college was journalism. Maybe it shouldn't surprise me at all though, which it doesn't, because I am apathetic. I did drop out of college 5 times.
I am not, in general, apathetic on a local scale. I am loyal, loving, caring, selfless. I am a good girl to have on your side in a time of confusion or crisis. I am an excellent wife for a veteran. I doubt I was a good soldier's wife. Not only was there apathy, but also I am not the type of girl people just like. My husband people adore. He is just a fun, nice, everyone loves him type of guy. My husband is apathetic on a personal scale. That PTSD will get you every time. I am an excellent wife for him. I crusade. I contact the Texas Veteran's Commission, the congressman's office, his community college. I keep his parents as updated as I can so they will not overly pressure him, while maintaining his privacy. I seek out other veterans and try to help them with their disability cases, their GI Bills, their navigation of my homeland, which is now foreign to most of them.
I enjoy this, being able to DO something. My apathy on a larger scale is because I cannot DO anything about the oil spill, SB1070, the war. I would say SB1070 hurts my heart more than the oil spill. Do we not remember internment camps??? My energy is better served closer to home.
In thinking about my apathy and reading the blog comments, I came across one by the father of the author. He mentioned having a son in Iraq and how when his son came home, he lost all interest in the war.
My daughter can never serve in the military. She is a liability. She was born with a single kidney. I can't find the studies now, but there are two specific ones I need to relocate. They state Gulf War veterans' exposure to depleted uranium has not been found conclusively to cause birth defects in their children. Oh, except there is a higher rate in unilateral renal agenesis (URA - being born with a solitary kidney) in their children, according to both a US and a UK study. The studies agreed on nothing else. The good news is that my daughter, born with a solitary kidney, possibly because of my husband's exposure to depleted uranium in the military, is unable to serve in the military.
The bad news is if she damages his solitary kidney, he dies. The good news is she is living and has no problems other than URA. I remember when she was born - she immediately peed everywhere. My husband says it was one of the happiest moments of his life. It seems strange now, but I spent such a large portion of time while pregnant worried that she wouldn't live or that she would have major physical and mental hurdles. When she passed her hearing test, it was a huge relief - the ears and kidneys develop at the same time. When she went to the doctor for a UTI and there was no kidney damage, it was also an enormous relief. She is obviously a happy "normal" child and her kidney is now in the 90th percentile for size, which is exactly what they want to see. I need to call tomorrow to schedule her nephralogist (kidney doctor) biannual visit and then we get to switch to annual visits.
Veterans and their families have lots of scars and secrets. I am still learning everyday the extent of my husband's scarring. However, some of these scars are so clearly superficial. I believe that living with a solitary kidney is merely a flesh wound in the grand scheme of things. I am glad my daughter survived long enough and thrived greatly enough that I am able to see that.
For further reading about renal agenesis in the offspring of our veterans:
http://www.ehjournal.net/content/4/1/17
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12854660 (the US study I mentioned in this post)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1569619/ (an article comparing and contrasting the previous study with other studies)
In 365: A Guide to Coming Back, he talks about the sheer apathy a lot of Americans have regarding the war. I am one of these people: apathetic. Not just regarding the war, but in general I feel fairly apathetic about what goes on that is not physically in my face, especially if it is BIG NEWS, like the oil spoil, or the war. I don't watch or read the news. This should probably surprise me, because my major in college was journalism. Maybe it shouldn't surprise me at all though, which it doesn't, because I am apathetic. I did drop out of college 5 times.
I am not, in general, apathetic on a local scale. I am loyal, loving, caring, selfless. I am a good girl to have on your side in a time of confusion or crisis. I am an excellent wife for a veteran. I doubt I was a good soldier's wife. Not only was there apathy, but also I am not the type of girl people just like. My husband people adore. He is just a fun, nice, everyone loves him type of guy. My husband is apathetic on a personal scale. That PTSD will get you every time. I am an excellent wife for him. I crusade. I contact the Texas Veteran's Commission, the congressman's office, his community college. I keep his parents as updated as I can so they will not overly pressure him, while maintaining his privacy. I seek out other veterans and try to help them with their disability cases, their GI Bills, their navigation of my homeland, which is now foreign to most of them.
I enjoy this, being able to DO something. My apathy on a larger scale is because I cannot DO anything about the oil spill, SB1070, the war. I would say SB1070 hurts my heart more than the oil spill. Do we not remember internment camps??? My energy is better served closer to home.
In thinking about my apathy and reading the blog comments, I came across one by the father of the author. He mentioned having a son in Iraq and how when his son came home, he lost all interest in the war.
My daughter can never serve in the military. She is a liability. She was born with a single kidney. I can't find the studies now, but there are two specific ones I need to relocate. They state Gulf War veterans' exposure to depleted uranium has not been found conclusively to cause birth defects in their children. Oh, except there is a higher rate in unilateral renal agenesis (URA - being born with a solitary kidney) in their children, according to both a US and a UK study. The studies agreed on nothing else. The good news is that my daughter, born with a solitary kidney, possibly because of my husband's exposure to depleted uranium in the military, is unable to serve in the military.
The bad news is if she damages his solitary kidney, he dies. The good news is she is living and has no problems other than URA. I remember when she was born - she immediately peed everywhere. My husband says it was one of the happiest moments of his life. It seems strange now, but I spent such a large portion of time while pregnant worried that she wouldn't live or that she would have major physical and mental hurdles. When she passed her hearing test, it was a huge relief - the ears and kidneys develop at the same time. When she went to the doctor for a UTI and there was no kidney damage, it was also an enormous relief. She is obviously a happy "normal" child and her kidney is now in the 90th percentile for size, which is exactly what they want to see. I need to call tomorrow to schedule her nephralogist (kidney doctor) biannual visit and then we get to switch to annual visits.
Veterans and their families have lots of scars and secrets. I am still learning everyday the extent of my husband's scarring. However, some of these scars are so clearly superficial. I believe that living with a solitary kidney is merely a flesh wound in the grand scheme of things. I am glad my daughter survived long enough and thrived greatly enough that I am able to see that.
For further reading about renal agenesis in the offspring of our veterans:
http://www.ehjournal.net/content/4/1/17
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12854660 (the US study I mentioned in this post)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1569619/ (an article comparing and contrasting the previous study with other studies)
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